Posted in Blogging

Me as a Book

Instead of doing the things I’m supposed to be doing (hours of grad school work, editing articles for a marketing company, cleaning the apartment, discovering something I can eat for breakfast that isn’t made of chocolate), I have been trying to come up with what kind of book to write.

Originally it was going to be a memoir. Then maybe a graphic novel. I briefly thought about a children’s book. Maybe poetry? A wordless picture book full of amazing illustrations? A book of conversations I’ve had with strangers? A book entirely written in tweets?

And I have come to the conclusion that it will have to be a mixture of all of those things. But you could write more than one book, Emily. You don’t have to create the book version of filling a cup with every soda that the soda machine offers until you’ve formed a gross brown liquid that seemed great in theory but actually makes you gag.

You’re right but you’re also wrong, because I want this book to be a reflection of my mind, which means it will include pages of humorous dialogue, beautiful prose, collaged pictures, rambling inner monologues about anxiety, old poetry, awkward pictures from my childhood, probably a lot of lists, and maybe even some fun puzzles because WHY NOT.

Get excited, everyone.

Posted in Blogging

Life of a Five-Year-Old

I bet when people asked my mother how I was doing when I was five years old, she responded with normal things like, “Oh, she just learned how to read!” or “She’s mastering tying her shoes!” or “She’s been practicing for her ballet recital!”

When really I think more people would have liked to hear about how I tried to give myself a temporary tattoo of a dinosaur and ended up passing out on the bathroom floor while holding the tattoo in place on my arm because I was so freaked out by the transfer process, or how I got stuck in my grandmother’s old pink toilet that same year and had to scream for help until she came into the bathroom cackling and pulled on my arms.

That’s the real stuff people want to know.

Posted in Uncategorized

10.11.20

Current regret: Giving away my handmade Capri Sun purse from elementary school that ~back in the day~ made me the height of fashion.

Second current regret: Begging my mother to buy me said purse from my third grade teacher who made them herself because I HAD TO HAVE IT or else I wouldn’t be cool.

Third current regret: Believing it was acceptable to carry around my collaged notebooks and numerous scented Lip Smackers in a purse that was actually just a bunch of people’s trash sewn together.